Bad blogger! No cookie! Those of you (right, like anyone reads this!)who choose to blog in white font on a black background.. do you know you are giving people migraines? I'm getting one right now. That's how I will spend my saturday... with jacked up vision and intense pain.

Here's what happens: I get about 2 lines into the blog then my vision goes wonky. I start seeing horizontal lines of dark and light, as if I were looking through mini blinds from a dark room on a sunny day. The lines don't go away for hours and after a few minutes.. the dull pounding starts.

I guess I have to stop reading them, which is sad.

I'm thinking about joining AA. I think I'm finally ready to admit that I have a problem that is interfering with my life. My addiction has caused problems, even injury to myself and my loved ones and I am finally willing to admit that
I need help.

I did some research and found the 12 steps that I will take with the help of friends, family and possibly a harsh winter.


1. We admitted we were powerless over avocados--that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than guacamole could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our tortilla chips and our limes over to the care of The Flying Spaghetti Monster (TFSM) as we understood It.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our kitchen.

5. Admitted to our produce clerk, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have our husband remove all these avocados in the house.

7. Humbly asked TFSM to remove our cravings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with TFSM, as we understood It, praying only for knowledge of It's will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Mexican restaurants, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.


I'm not sure I'm ready.

Get a bucket!!! The roof's leaking. Yuck. Plaster is falling... brown stain spreading... yuckity yuck!

Hmm... Toast's roof stopped leaking and ours started within a few hours. Um.... WITCH!!! Toast is a witch!!

In other news, the kids are doing well. They are both adorable and are growing so damn fast. The baby is no longer a baby. *sad face* She is officially a toddler. Nine months old as of the 13th and she's crawling, standing, taking a few steps here and there while holding on to things, saying Da Da Da!! alot at her Daddy, and crawling up the stairs. Every new thing she does seems like a little miracle, as if she's the first kid to ever crawl. -Yet, it seems kind of bittersweet. The more independence she gains, the more I lose my little baby. Hopefully, she'll stay a mommy's girl and want to be held alot. I know I miss that with Grace.

Speaking of Grace, that girl is a trip. She's such a little brainiac. She's really into puzzles at the moment. It amazes me to see a 3 year old put together 75 piece jigsaw puzzles in a few short minutes. Her vocabulary and reasoning skills are quite advanced and she never tires of challenging me, questioning everything and demanding accountability of those around her. She is not the slightest bit shy about telling a senior citizen that they used a bad word or should take turns or wait in line.

I have some recent pics of the girls playing together. I shall upload them soon, I promise.

10 things I don't want to know:

1. How fake crab is made.

2. What my husband really thinks about my body.

3. About your sex life.

4. About your religious beliefs.

5. About your various bodily functions/fluids.

6. How much money you make.

7. What my dog is eating.

8. What that stain on the floor is from.

9. How much trash I've put in the landfill in my life.

10. Anything at all about that woman who put her baby in the microwave. I'm hoping to never hear the details.

I kinda like these cloudy, rainy days. They make me want to light candles, bake and cook yummy food and snuggle with my family.

I miss having a girlfriend to talk to about anything and everything. I miss having that friend who knew everything about me, who could explain myself to me when I didn't understand why I was feeling a certain way. I miss having that friend who always knew when I just needed her to be there to sit with me in silence.

I worry that I'll never stop needing her. I worry that part of my heart will always feel empty. I know, I will probably never have a friend like that again and it really sucks.

Does this shit ever get any easier?