I would just like to say thank you to PBS Kids. I don't know what I'd do without Sesame Street. It affords me the luxury of having a peaceful hour every morning. An hour where I can sit and drink a cup of coffee, catch up on e-mail, and not feel guilty about planting my daughter in front of the t.v. It's educational. It's wholesome. It encourages learning and good values. It even keeps her entertained.

Of course, some republicans think PBS Kids, teaches corrupt moral values, like sharing, kindness and non-violence. Apparently, I'm raising a little neo-socialist, dirt bag-hippie. The "enemies of freedom" are taking control of our youth, and they are even teaching the Spanish! *gasp!* Between that homeless piece of trash, Oscar, and that gender neutral, Elmo... The "Christian Wrong" must be twitching with paranoia.

Then there is poor Buster... he even got scolded
by Education Secretary Margaret Spellings for visiting a kid with lesbian mamma's. God literally forbids tolerance, you know.

What the hell is going on and why are we just laying down and taking it? The "Christian Right" are neither Christian nor right. They are an epedemic of ignorance and bigotry.

[/end rant]

A conversation with my friend Phil in Sydney whilst drinking my morning coffee:

phil_animal: i am all alone
Bahia: aren't we all?
Bahia: We all die alone.
Bahia: feeling philosophical?
phil_animal: always, but you know i am nihilist, so my answers could be irratating to you
Bahia: you know you can't really be a true nihlist right?
Bahia: you believe in yourself
Bahia: you believe that the sun will rise
Bahia: you believe lots of things
phil_animal: from i read that seems like a silly over the top form of nihilism.
to me it is just accepting everything doesnt really matter it just happens
Bahia: Ok, well I'm going to kick you in the nuts
Bahia: because it doen't matter
phil_animal: ah, now this is where 'it doesnt matter' needs an explanation. that does matter because it hurt me, and anything you do will have repucutions. but it is the moral factor that doesnt matter. which is why people dont like nihilism or see them as evil. 'it doent matter as long as i am happy' is the normal atitude
Bahia: well, maybe kicking you in the nuts makes me happy
phil_animal: then good for you, but now i will hurt you and not care what happens to you or what anyone around you cares, including your family
Bahia: Cool! Let's beat the snot out of each other.
phil_animal: but that is when social laws come in and must be followed to live in a society. but a nihlist will just see it as something they need to do to live. not any kind of right or wrong judgement, as there is no right or wrong
Bahia: So you are a Republican?
phil_animal: but i dont want to force on others my beliefs because i dont care what happens to them
Bahia: So you are a moderate Republican. :P
phil_animal: and i still have things i 'believe' in, but it is not due to thinking it is right or wrong, just because i like them
Bahia: Oh... you should move to California then.
phil_animal: eg the environment, no killing etc
Bahia: You'd fit right in in L.A.
phil_animal: and die from the smog, no thanks
phil_animal: plus i hate america, no offence
Bahia: No offense taken.
Bahia: I hate The Flemish.
Bahia: Even though I'm not sure who they really are.
Bahia: I just imagine they are uppity.
Bahia: Tee hee
Bahia: You know who else I hate?
Bahia: The Vikings
phil_animal: a whole people, that is a bit extreme, not everyone is the same. i just hate how america runs
Bahia: Always invading, raping and pilliging.
Bahia: And those damn Mongols... god!!
phil_animal: now your going to far, they rocked
Bahia: They ride in on their little ponies and spread knowledge.
Bahia: I do love Mongolian BBQ
phil_animal: thats chinese
Bahia: Nah
Bahia: It clearly says "Mongolian BBQ" on the sign

I was in the shower listening to NPR. In the midst of lathering, rinsing and repeating, I was listening to the latest report on the Israel vs. The Rest Of The World situation. Suddenly it hit me! There is a way to bring about Mid-East peace!

May I present my personal nominee for UN ambassador to Israel, Iran, Syria, Pakistan, India, North Korea, Afghanistan and anyone else that can't behave themselves.

"Now Israel, you have been very, very naughty. No one wants to play with you or be your neighbor anymore. You need to stop picking on the smaller kids and learn that a promise is a promise. Now go sit in your naughty chair until you are ready to say you are sorry to Syria and Palestine. "

"North Korea, that was very, VERY naughty of you to send up that missile. I don't care if Iran told you it was ok. Iran knows better and they are in trouble too. Now go sit in your naughty chair!"

Seriously, I'm tired of 3/4 of the worlds nations constantly behaving like spoiled brats. They need to learn to behave and get along. How do people with the mentality of pre-schoolers get power anyway?

If you can't take the heat, stay out of the midwest. Damn, it's hot! -There, that's my rant. Short lived yet emphatic.

The inlaws came to visit over the weekend. I adore my husband's parents and really have no complaints to speak of when it comes to them. They are fun, open minded, quick witted and they have the biggest hearts of any two people you could ever meet. I finally got to have some good heart to heart talks with my mother in law. I think we both feel really comfortable around each other and I find her really easy to talk to. In the midst of this wonderful visit, we had a minor ant invasion. Not the little sugar ants that invade the kitchen. I'm talkin' big ol' honkin' carpenter ants. They were marching out of the wall in a steady stream, through the guest bedroom. Why do these things only happen when I have company? I was mortified. Fortunately, the hubby went to the harware store and bought some poison free ant killer. Can you say "minty fresh" The main ingredient is mint oil. Wow!!! This house smells like a fresh pack of chewing gum. I kinda like it. -Teehee!

Speaking of catastophic events. My car seems to be trying to kill me. Maybe it's just trying to kill itself and I'm just in the way. I'm not really sure, but either way, it will not be driven. Between the exhaust leeking into the passenger compartment, the broken hood latch that prevents me from opening the hood to see what the hell is going on in there, much less add vital fluids, the various shorts in the electrical system that cause the doors to lock and unlock randomly, the passenger door that only opens when it wants to, and the most recent one... the power steering went out and the steering column started smoking. There was thick, black smoke coming out of the steering column as if the car was sending me smoke signals saying "Please, pull my distributor cap and put me out of my misery." Which incidently, looks alot like the smoke signal for "I am possesed by demons and am trying with every ounce of Oldsmobile force I have left to kill you while you drive me. You know I hate I-35, right?" -So... the car sits. I think I heard it laughing at me. I'm pretty sure it said "Buy Japanese."

There are those little things in life that people take for granted . A smile from a stranger, a knowing glance from a loved one, a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on, an accepting embrace when you are feeling low.

Some people run, screaming through their lives, trying to devour every experience they can. Living every minute like it were their last. Just trying to squeeze in as much living as they can. Their lives are speeding freight trains. They head blindly, without brakes, never fearing the brick wall at the end of the tunnel. No stopping, no slowing down.

I've known other people that live in fear. Afraid to speak up, speak out or rise above. Afaid to try, afraid to struggle, afraid to fail. They do what they're told. They are hollow inside, dying a little more each day.

As for me, I'm trying to find balance. I need to see and feel the beauty in all things. I need to search for higher meaning.

So as you pass me by, don't feel sorry for me. I was born with the spirit of a turtle. I'm happy taking my time, stopping to smell the flowers.

So.. I got bored and started playing with my hair. I bleached out the front section where my bangs would be... you know.. if I had bangs. It came out kinda orange-ish, which does not suprise me considering I was going from a pretty deep red. Next time it should come out pure blonde. I figure in a month or two, I'll most likely get bored and end up dying it blue. I mean why the hell not, right? It's not like I have a boss to answer to. I might as well have some fun with my hair while I can.